“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi


Generally speaking, I’m a fan of social media. Social media has been—and still is—a tremendously helpful tool in connecting (and reconnecting) with people, sharing special moments with family and friends, even promoting and expanding a business.

Hell, without the help of social media, this blog would likely be buried under the bazillion other blogs in existence, in a folder labeled “there is absolutely no way anyone is ever going to see this”.

But, as great as social media is, it doesn’t come without some baggage.

I’m not referring to the incessant, unsolicited game requests, the constant revamping of privacy settings, or the “posing in the mirror” selfie.

I’m talking about the drama that ensues when people take too much stock into what they observe through social media.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced the drama at one time or another: With roughly 1.9 billion social media users worldwide and each of those users averaging 350 friends/followers, there’s bound to be some conflict.

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve experienced a lot of drama through social media. Sometimes I was on the receiving end, other times I dished it out. The point is, in many of those instances, I allowed the drama to get to me. A lot.

Whether it was Catty Cathy getting under my skin, or me feeling guilty for being a little too snarky in a response, I felt the weight of the social media baggage, and it was heavy—too heavy to pass off as a carry on.

It was then that I realized that the baggage that comes along with the social media experience can vary in weight, depending on the person and how they choose to handle the experience.

Me? I was carrying a bag full of boulders.

I also realized that my current social media experience did not fall in line with my desire to live a simpler life. One of the things that drew me to the idea of living simply was the potential to be happier and more at peace, and my social media experience thus far just wasn’t fitting the bill.

So I took the next logical step—I lightened my social media load.

Here are a few things I’ve done so far to help lighten the load:

dapoxetine original buy I’m spending less time on it– I hate to be Captain Obvious, but the less time you spend on social media, chances are the less you’ll be affected by it. I used to spend hours on social media every day. Whenever there was a moment of downtime—at a red light, the doctor’s waiting room, the bathroom (yes, the bathroom)—I’d reach for my phone. It was a sickness, really. But once I realized that, besides being an enormous distraction, all that screen time was screwing with my happiness, I made the decision to dramatically cut down my time on social media. This one change alone has made a significant difference.

see here now I removed Facebook from my phone- One thing that has helped tremendously in reducing my time on social media is removing Facebook from my phone. In my opinion, Facebook is, by far, the biggest time eater and energy sucker of all social media sites. Twitter and Instagram remain on my phone—they seem to be relatively benign in comparison—but Facebook had to go.

I try to be more responsible in what I post- I must say, in the past, I’ve been guilty of not making the best choices in what I’ve posted. There were times when I’ve succumbed to the drama and allowed myself to participate in the cattiness, bitchiness and overall negativity. But in those times of weakness, it did nothing for me except make me look like an asshole. So, I decided to put more thought into what I post—if it’s not constructive, positive or something that can provide a good chuckle, I try my best not to post it. And honestly, it has made me feel better about myself and what I’m putting out there. So while a video of me using my cat as a prop to make it appear as though he is doing the hip roll while singing “Blue Suede Shoes” may not be as interesting as a catty remark or a snarky rebuttal, at least it’s not negative. Plus, I don’t care what anyone says, everybody loves a good cat video.

I stopped taking things so personally- On social media, and in life in general, we sometimes tend to take things too personally. A person can make a generalized comment and if it applies to us even remotely, we immediately think that comment is referring to us. I’ve been guilty of this far too often. But I recently came across a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that helped me put things in perspective: “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do”. That quote helped me realize that there’s a 99.9 percent chance that whatever comment I’m taking personally has nothing to do with me whatsoever.

I will say in extreme cases, when all else fails, I’ve had to hide some people from my feed—some I’ve even had to remove altogether. Because while I can’t control what people post, nor would I try to (who am I to take away the right for someone to express themselves in the form that they see fit?), I can certainly control what I read. And I choose to read things that lift me up, not drag me down. I no longer expose myself to the catty, passive aggressive and overall negative bullshit.

And ever since I’ve made these choices, my bag has gotten much lighter.

Let’s face it, the baggage that comes with social media is unavoidable—there’s always going to be some negativity. But at the end of the day, you have control over how heavy your baggage is going to be. You can either carry a bag of feathers or a bag of rocks—it’s entirely up to you.


  1. lori gluck

    Franchesca…I have great respect for your continuing focus on personal growth in every realm of your life. Your depth of insight and honesty make a great role model for anyone who may choose to pursue a similar course towards a more grounded life of inner peace and self-acceptance.

    Enjoying following your thoughts and feelings(I love the quotes you have chosen!)


    1. Fstoyer Post author

      Thank you for your continued support, Lori!! The support you’ve given not only in this journey, but in all other areas of my life, has helped me more than you know!! 🙂


  2. candice

    You are so right Fran! We need to really digest what you are saying and take some advise from this post!!! Awesome writing as usual.


  3. Tracey Smith

    Frannie- Well said! I love you, keep being true to yourself 🙂 I’m virtually a ghost on social network I drop in and drop out ever so often. How you manage it def has an impact on how much it’s a part of your life. Keep on writing and sharing…. Much love to the Stoyer Fam and Joel’s burgers


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